My Blog

Dramatic Increase of Burials for the Economically Challenged

04/30/2011 00:25:00

I am exhausted tonight. This comes not from a great deal of physical work for the funeral service, but from coordinating the funeral services: making certain the death certificate is filed, the burial permit printed, casket and vault and hearse are ordered, vital authorizations secured and much more. I write this humbly as I realize the huge amount of work Helen has done to coordinate and the funeral and provide all that is needed for each family.

We had a burial yesterday and another scheduled for Tuesday. This afternoon, we also received two more calls that will go through our funeral service. Helen is the point person for both of these funerals. She is known and respected in the Twin Cities African American communities and nearly everyone knows to call her when there is a death in the family. Helen treats each family as if they are the only one with whom she is working.

It is not uncommon for one of the deceased to have a family member who is incarcerated and who wants to pay their respects to the deceased. The prisons insist on there being no one present but the guards, the prisoner, and a funeral director. Many of these family members comment on the quality of the casket and/or the welcoming attitude of our staff. We are in no position to judge the reason for the incarceration, the closeness of the family member to the deceased, nor the "real" reason the inmate wants to pay respects to the deceased. Our commitment to respect and consideration is extended to family members no matter what their life situation might be.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit....blessed are those who mourn......blessed are the brokenhearted................" We honor our commitment to dignified care and to respect for all members of the deceased's family (and friends). Soon this individual will be laid to rest and we will begin preparing for the next funeral. Despite the rate of weekly funerals, each client/family receives the same unbiased, respect today, tomorrow and in weeks and months ahead.

Deception in Funeral Service

04/28/2011 18:57:00

It isn't easy working with families who have little money and who are faced with the cost of burying a loved one. We are fortunate to have discovered quality merchandise for reasonable prices which we don''t mark up. Somehow, Helen is able to divide the $2,100 into the right categories, merchandise and services.

Last week, an elderly woman died in a local nursing home. We received a phone call from her children saying that the deceased woman's body had been picked up by and taken to a funeral home that the family had not specified. It seems that there are several funeral home "chains" that have contracts with these nursing fcilities so they will be called if a funeratl home has not been designated. In the case of the woman I mentioned, by the time the adult children arrived at the funeral home, the woman had been embalmed and the family already had a charge of nearly $1,000!!! These folks didn't want their mother taken care of by that funeral home and we were called to move this woman one more time to our facility! As we have visited with others about this situation, we have learned that this is not uncommon; these funeral homes have contracts (probably nothing in writing and securely kept from wandering eyes) with nursing homes to call them when there is a death so they can be they can be the first to respond.

This is immoral at the very least. This means that family members (often folks who have little financial resource) must pay two charges for transportation and often a higher price for embalming that we charge all without their knowledge or consent.

Certainly these few funeral homes are not lacking financially and what the county compensates for death care is not going to increase the revenue of the business since there is little to collect for the funerals and care of the body. Sadly, greed seems to motivate these funeral directors to act in such an inappropriate manner.

Only several generations ago, people trusted and respected the local funeral director. Funeral compensation was not always totally in cash (depending upon the finances of the family). The funeral director was satisfied collecting partial payment in cash/check and the other in fresh food products raised by the customers and family of the deceased! I can't say I would know what to do with a newly killed chicken, but I would graciously accept it if that was all a family could do. How many of my colleagues would say the same thing?

Money Doesn't Make the Funeral

04/28/2011 01:00:00

Coordinating post death care and funeral/burial service is more complex for our small company than it is for those funeral homes who often have three or four funeals a day. This is partially due to the amount of time it takes working with our families in coming up with funding for the funeral and burial. Despite their $3,500 maximum payment, one county's allowcation of funds means deep cutting of funeral home charges, leaving us with about $100.00 per funeral after bills are paid! This causes more trauma for the families than it does for us since they may not go one penny of the $1,400 alloted to them for funeral expenses (out of the $3,500)! If you feel lost trying to follow this, imagine being a family member and realizing how little you ahve to say about merchandise and services!

What we can't produce by funeral products and services we do make up in family connections. Family members are encouraged to put the make up on the deceased, fix his/her hair, and other hands on tasks that support the grief process while letting family know that they were able to "DO SOMETHING" for one last time.

When I think of St. Francis, living with the same poverty as the people the Franciscans served, I am honored that we are able to so closely follow in his footsteps. Each of the three of us gets along pretty well yet, we don't own so many of the extras that most of our contemporaries believe necessary to be successful in funeral service (huge homes, expensive cars, country club memberships, and the like).

We can all assist those who struggle when their is a death in their family. Cremation has left many people owning graves that have been in the family for generation upon generation and are no longer needed because family members are choosing cremation. Go to a place like Craig's list and list the grave for sale. You would be surprised how many inquiries you have. You might also consider simply giving the grave to the cemetery designating that it be given to a family in need.

Do these things in remembrance of Jesus the Christ, who taught us to reach out to our neighbor.

Gvie us the Money

04/26/2011 11:07:00

Nine days ago, an 88 year old woman died in a local nursing home. Someone called a funeral home without consulting the family and this woman was transported to one of the most expensive funeral homes in the Twin Cities. Her daughter called one of our staff members saying that she couldn't pay what the funeral home was asking and that they had already embalmed her mother!

Nine days later, we have been asked to pick up the funeral and burial.

Sadly, this is not an infrequent occurence. Like most of us, our clients can't imagine a body being cared for without their understanding of what they are being asked and the information being given to them. Many of these families don't know where they can find $10 and now a funeral home is talking about thousnds of dollars, multiple choices that are possible and the family is overwhelmed.

A number of years ago a family called me because the fuenral home had just told them that they would not accept county burial funds as the total payment for their services and merchandise. These were Mexican immigrants who spoke some English and struggled to understand much of what was said to them. In this case, the most important thing that I could offer was holding and hugging the distraught daughters while they sought additional funds. They did not understand that they could transfer the care for their mother to our funeral service.

Know that we don't go from family to family to offer lower cost funerals. Our services are known and many families come to us as soon as they apply for county assistance, knowing that this will not be an issue.

The words of THE PROPHET, Kahilil Gibran describe us and our work:

"We prefer to be dreamers among the humblest, with visions to be realized, that to lord among those without dreams and desires

Welcome

04/26/2011 02:17:00

WELCOME!

We hope that you will share your thoughts, concerns, questions, ideas, and others with us regarding funeral service. Our profession seems to have more unknown that known and/or understood and as consumers, it is essential that you become familiar with the various aspects of funeral care and merchandise that you will be able to make informed decisions regarding both goods and services. "Don't put your money 'all in one casket' (or was that basket)??

Understand that Oyate Tawicoh'an-Franciscan Funeral Services is a small business in the world of funeral care. We do not want a funeral home that is larger than a modest mansion, not do we want to display merchandise that is out of the financial range of most of those we servce (including our staff).

Helen, Margaret, and I want only one thing, which is to be available to those families and individuals who struggle financially and who want and are despertely in need of compassionate and respectful care and affordable merchandise.

Our funeral service name is interesting in that it combines the Lakota phrase meaning "the way of the people" with the example given to us by St Francis of Assisi to give of ourselves while generously reaching out to those in financial need.

Please share your thoughts, comments and suggestions with all of us. We look forward to hearig what you have to say.